


This dork of a boyfriend

by LooIsHere



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: Angst, M/M, Sweet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-03
Updated: 2015-12-03
Packaged: 2018-05-04 15:45:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,731
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5339642
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LooIsHere/pseuds/LooIsHere
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lewis' pride is blinding him, maybe to the point when Nico can't handle it anymore.</p>
            </blockquote>





	This dork of a boyfriend

**Author's Note:**

> Soooo, it's basically one in the morning and I should sleep, but I just finished it and proofread it now. I hope there isn't too many mistakes, but I can't guarantee anything higher than a 50% at this hour.  
> Enjoy !

Nico groaned when he heard the door unlock. He rolled on his side in order to turn his back on Lewis when he would come to sleep, and shot a glance at the clock. Four thirty. He closed his eyes; he didn't want him to know he couldn't sleep. He saw the light behind his lids when Lewis opened their bedroom door. Of course he forgot to turn it off. He heard him mumble a curse as he hit the bedpost. And of course he was drunk again. Lewis sat clumsily on the bed and Nico noticed he removed only his shoes before laying next to him. The bed dipped as the Brit turned to him and put his hand on his shoulder.

"Nico. Hey Nico."

His breath carried the heavy smell of alcohol and his words were slurred. The blonde focused on his breathing; long and steady. For three days now, Lewis had been coming back in the middle of the night, wasted, and had been falling asleep quickly, sleeping like a log in a matter of seconds. But this night it seemed he wanted to talk.

"You' never here when I need you. Y'understand nothin', huh ?"

Nico bit his tongue to stay quiet; it wasn't the time to argue. Lewis stayed here a few more seconds before sighing and laying down heavily. Soon enough, his light snores filled the room, echoing way too loud in Nico's head. His chest felt tight. He couldn't sleep.

 

* * *

 

 

It was nearly seven when he opened his eyes again. He slept a little more than an hour; his mind had probably decided to shut down at some point. He sighed and turned slowly on his back, only to see a still snoring, sound asleep Lewis laying on his stomach. No need to be careful. Nico stood up and grabbed clean clothes before heading for the bathroom and locking the door. What he thought he needed was a nice and long shower to relax a bit, and the idea of having some more sleep right here pleased him. He removed his nightwear and folded it before stepping in the bathtub and turning on the tap. Hot water started pouring and a delighted sigh escaped him. He sat and plugged the tub, watching as water filled it slowly. When it was finally high enough he gently laid and closed his eyes, wishing for the newly silent room and flat to stay like this forever, but instead of finding peace or sleep, the scenes of his arguments with Lewis played on his eyelids. Lewis saying he wasn't his friend. Lewis pushing him out of the track. Lewis leaving the apartment angrily. Lewis having a stupid, spendthrift girlfriend. Lewis winning the championship and ignoring him. Lewis being rude with him. Lewis winning the championship once more, and ignoring him even more. His brows furrowed as his eyes started to sting. He let out a muffled whine and tears started to roll down his cheeks. It was all because of Lewis. That proud, selfish, cunt of a best friend, of a boyfriend he once had. He sobbed. Everything he was, everything he had, had been destroyed by Lewis. He didn't hear the slight, recognizable creaking of the door, nor did he hear the soft footsteps that came from the bedroom. He sat again and buried his face in his hands in a an attempt to muffle his sobs. He was ridiculous; crying for a man who didn't love him back, for a pretender who couldn't see further than the end of his nose.

"Nico," Lewis said with a furred tongue.

The blonde brutally raised his head and stiffened as he stared at the door. A knock echoed in the room.

"Nico." His voice was hoarse. He just woke up. "I know you' in there."

He stayed silent. What seemed like eternity passed before he spoke again.

"Let me in."

"What do you want ?" His voice was unsteady and more high-pitched than he would have liked. He sniffed.

"My toothbrush, that's all." Lewis had to lie; he knew he wouldn't let him get in if he didn't have a real reason. Nico almost sniggered. Of course. What could he want to do with him ? He only cared about what belonged to him.

"Fuck off." He heard a sigh before the doorknob turned and the bolt stopped the door from opening. "I said 'fuck off' !"

Lewis didn't insist. He let go of the handle and dragged himself into the kitchen, heavily sitting at the table. He sighed once more. Nico didn't understand. He thought he wanted to make war when, deep down, what he wanted was to get back in touch with him, to be close to him again. To be his boyfriend again. He had listened to his heartbreaking crying before deciding to knock. He had seemed so in pain, so lonely behind that door. So far from him. Far and unreachable, like the night before when he was, with the help of the alcohol, finally ready to tell him everything that weighted on his heart. Lewis blinked a few times. He didn't need to think about all of this. He was a grown man, he couldn't just sit here and wait for things to get better by themselves. He knew he was stubborn, he knew he treated Nico like an object, he knew he had been rough with him, but every move he made was to make him realise how much he cared for him, to make him react and if not get happy, only get mad and show some emotion to Lewis. Since he won the championship a second time, Nico had showed less and less interest on him, and now with his third victory he didn't even seem to notice him. He didn't talk to him, he barely stayed in the same room as him. The only thing they still did together was sleeping, and the only thing he triggered in Nico was pain it seemed.

The German let out a heavy sigh. At least he wasn't depressed anymore. That was what Lewis did to him. He lit a deep hatred in him that he could easily relate to the love they shared before; burning, violent and endless. He stayed there some more trying to empty his head and finally decided to leave, unplugging the bathtub and stepping out. He hurriedly rubbed himself dry and put on his clothes, decided to get out of this suffocating flat. He wasn't worried about Lewis being here, he knew he would be out with his friends to party again and get drunk again. After all, why wouldn't he ? He had nothing to do in there but sleep. He belonged with his friends. A cold wave ran down Nico's back. He should stop thinking about that. He grabbed a pair of shoes, put them on, grabbed his jacket and headed for the door. When he turned his head, he saw that the Brit was watching him. He winced and leaved the apartment without a word, slamming the door behind him.

 

When he was finally back, his whole body started to stiffen as the lift went up. He was unwilling to see Lewis and to put up with his stare. The key turned and he took a deep breath, stepping in the entrance. Not a noise could be heard. Nico sighed with relief. He  walked to the living room with its large windows and reached for a book in the small bookcase they had. He sat comfortably in the couch and relaxed, opening the book, ready  to dive into the words.

Lewis heard Nico come back, and he knew he was in the living room. Lewis was dressed and ready to head out for some fun time with his friends before the party he was invited to. He walked down the corridor and came out in the living room. Nico jumped slightly and quickly turned his head to him, surprise widening his eyes.

"What are you doing here ?" His tone was almost angry.

His eyes went down and up his body. Lewis wore a black shirt, sleeves rolled up, on blue jeans and black derby shoes. He also had the golden, heavy  Rolex watch he offered him. Nico was disgusted. He saw Lewis open his mouth to answer.

"No, forget it. I don't care."

He shook his head and went back to his book, unable to focus on the words, his blood boiling in his veins. He kept on trying to read, but Lewis wasn't moving and his mind kept on going to him again. That way too expensive watch he bought him for their anniversary. The stupid, heart-warming  grin that extended his lips when he opened the box.  The wonderful night they had spent. Nico closed his eyes in order to block the thoughts. He didn't want the memories to come back. They belonged to the past.

Lewis watched him some more, and the same scowl he saw earlier appeared on his face.  He was upset. He sighed and left; he knew nothing could be done when he closed himself. This party would allow him to empty his head a bit, or at least alcohol would.  As he drove, he thought about Nico again. He didn't stop thinking about him at all. There wasn't any solution to this problem; Nico was as stubborn as a mule and he didn't want to see the little moves he had made and was still making in order to talk to him again, and on his side, Lewis had too big an ego to really talk to him. Of course winning mattered, but Nico was part of his life too. He cared more about his relationship with him than the championship. Maybe he pushed him into the background somewhat when he reached the top step for the second time, a year ago, but he stilled cared for the German. He still loved him.

"Not feeling good tonight ? Hangover ?"

One of his friends slapped his shoulder with a wide grin. Lewis blinked a few times and smiled.

"Nope, just thinking. Everything's fine mate, let's go."

Nico was looking at the city through the large windows of the room he didn't leave as night fell. He couldn't get the Brit out of his head. He hated it. He hated the fact that he had to spend the evening alone again. He wanted to be with Lewis, he missed him. He hated this too. He was out, partying, totally oblivious of Nico's malaise, probably flirting with some fame-hungry girls, while all he could do was dwell on the failures in their relationship, or rather the ruins of their relationship. He was pathetic.  

He went to bed early this night, hoping for his lack of sleep to allow him a full night. He knew he needed to sleep: the plane for the next race was three days later, he had to be well-rested. When he woke up he noticed he didn't remember falling asleep. But he also noticed Lewis wasn't by his side. He swallowed hard and raised his wrist at eye level. Eight or so. He walked to the living room but he wasn't laid fully clothed there either. He slept elsewhere.  

Lewis came back around eleven and sat in the kitchen in front of a silent Nico Rosberg looking daggers at him over his book.

"I slept at a friend's."

He felt like he had to explain his behaviour. Nico almost snorted. Of course. At a friend's. Probably the 'long legged, _big-hearted_ , brunette' kind of friend.

"No." Lewis looked almost offended.

"What do you mean, 'no' ? I didn't ask anything."

"I didn't sleep at the place of a random girl. I slept with a friend, and he's a guy."

Nico's blue eyes widened.  He said it out loud. He sighed. Maybe he didn't, after all, yet something bothered him.

"Am I not a guy ?"

Lewis frowned. "Are you insinuating I slept with him ?" How could he, even if only for a second, think about this ?

"That's not what I said."

"Isn't it ?"

Nico sighed again. "You know what ? I don't care. Sleep with whoever you want, I don't give a shit."

He rose and closed his book, moving to the living room to grab his bag. He threw the book in it and took out his phone. Lewis had followed him there and watched him. He wanted to talk to him and tell him everything he thought, yet something held him back from doing it. His heart started to beat faster as he heard the blonde speak.

"Send me a car with a driver please. Yes, it is the same. To the airport. Not yet. Thank you." He hung up and Lewis opened his mouth.

"Where are you going ?"

"Why ?"

"Why are you heading to the airport ?"

"I'm flying back to Monaco."

"I'm sorry ?" Lewis was the one upset this time. "Monaco ?"

"Is there a problem with this ? No because I can't see one."

"Is there a pr.. Of course there is ! You're living here with me, why do you want to go back to Monaco ?"

This time Nico laughed. "Are you kidding me ? You're not even here, and when you are, you're fucking drunk. If I wanted to live with someone I hated I could have just stayed alone in Monaco, that would have been enough !"

That hurt. But what did hurt even more was the fact that Nico hated himself, and it was a lie to think that Lewis wasn't involved in this. He stayed there without a word, not knowing what to answer to this, mouth agape, watching him put some other things in his bag and slipping on his jacket before going to the hall.

"Nico wait !"

He followed him and grabbed his arm, flipping him.

"Don't touch me." He hissed.

"Nico please.."

He used his other hand to take his other wrist. "Don't. Touch. Me. Lewis."

"Nico listen to me. I don't want you to leave."

"Well too bad, I'm already leaving. Let go of me now."

The German man freed himself and took his keys, opening the door, leaving and slamming it without a last look. The Brit felt his heart drop. He was letting him go, and because of his damn pride he didn't even tell him how he felt. He cursed. He had three days to convince him that he cared. Three little days.

When Nico landed, he was relieved to be back home and far from Lewis. He needed to get a change of air and make this constant tension that built up the last few weeks and days disappear. The familiar apartment made him truly feel home, like when he first left his parents' house, this and free. No unpleasant knots in the stomach, no tension in the shoulders, and hopefully, full nights. Nico's phone buzzed in his pocket. Lewis. He turned it off and let it on the bedside table. Everything was perfect without him. Or almost. He shook his head. He didn't need him. He took his keys and went out to have dinner; he didn't feel like cooking.

Nico wouldn't answer. Lewis sighed and threw his phone on the bed. He needed to fly to Monaco as fast as possible, he wasn't letting him throw their relationship away like this. He had to rebuilt it with the blonde: he was the one who made it crumble, he had no other choice but to build a solid base again in order to regain his trust. He couldn't do anything if Nico didn't trust him. Lewis had to prove him he wanted, he needed his confidence; without it he was nothing. Without _him_ he was nothing. He rolled on his other side in the empty sheets and cursed. He couldn't sleep.

After some more sleepless hours, Lewis grabbed his phone and called again. This time Nico picked up.

"Yeah ?"

"Nico, how are you ?"

"Lewis ? What d'you want ?" His words were a bit slurred and his usually subtle accent was stronger.

"Are you drunk ?"

"Nope. Or maybe. Why ? 've somethin' to tell me ?"

"Where are you ?"

"Well, far from you hehe."

"Nico. Where are you ?"

"Home."

"Why are you drunk ?"

"'m not drunk."

"Why did you drink ?"

"Ate out."

Nico felt sad. He had spent a pleasant night, but it seemed Lewis couldn't help but haunt him. And he felt like a kid who made something stupid. He felt guilty and he felt the need to explain everything he did. He heard Lewis sigh.

"What are you going to do ?"

"What ? Now ?"

"Yes, now."

"What time 's it ?"

"Around two in the morning."

Nico laughed slightly. "What d'you want me to do ? I won't run away, y'know."

"How did you get back to the house ?"

"On my own. I'm a big boy."

Lewis groaned. "Are you going to bed ?"

"Maybe."

"You're not taking your car again."

"Sure mom."

"Nico, don't you use that car tonight."

The blonde snorted. "I can go to the club if I want to, you're not here to stop me. You're never here, anyway."

"Nico please."

"I'm going to bed."

"Are you really ?"

"Yeah. Stop worrying, mom. I'm not brainless." He snorted again. "Nobody would care anyway."

He said it so quietly the Brit almost missed it.

"Nico go to bed."

"Won't you shut up ?"

"Nico please. Listen to me."

The blonde opened his mouth but then closed it hurriedly and bit his tongue. He had been close to say he loved him.

"Shit."

Lewis then heard the beeping sound that meant that Nico hung up. He sighed. He was taking the plane as soon as he could reach the airport.

 

* * *

 

 

The German stretched and yawned in his bed. It was the first full night he spent in weeks. He raised his wrist. Almost ten. He smiled to himself before standing up. He headed for the kitchen, only wearing a pair of boxers under a loose top, watching through his window at the beautiful, sunny Monaco bay. He was halfway through his breakfast when his doorbell rang. He frowned. Nobody knew he was here. He went to the door lazily and opened it without checking who was behind it. He looked at his watch again and raised his eyes to put them on the person standing there.

"What th.."

Lewis pushed him in and closed the door behind them.

"Fucki.."

He was shut by Lewis' lips crashing forcefully on his. His eyes widened and he protested, putting his hands on the Brit's chest and pushing.

"What do you think you're doing ?" he shouted, outraged, "Do you think you can just fucking come here, in _my_ fucking house and _kiss me_ like this and think everything's gonna be okay ?" His accent had always been more pronounced when he was angry.

 

"Do you fucking think you have all the damn rights ?" His whole body shook in a blind rage.

"Nico I came to talk."

"I don't want to fucking talk to you. Get out of my place !"

"Nico."

"You're not at home here, get out !"

"Please listen to me." Lewis was trying to stay calm, he knew burning-up wasn't the solution.

"Fuck off !"

He was kissed again, and he pushed him again, and maybe on the inside a part of him wanted to let him do as he wanted.

"Get out of here Lewis." His burning anger started to fade, soon replaced by the cold of the constant heartache he felt.

"Let me talk to you."

"Please get out."

Lewis knew he had never been hot-blooded. He knew he wasn't one for arguing and solving things with force. He said his name softly and tried to put his hands on his face, only to be stopped.

"What do you think you're doing ? I have nothing to do with you. Don't even try Lewis."

"Do you.."

"Please leave. I don't want to kick you out. Don't make me do it. Leave, please. I don't want to hear what you have to tell me."

He saw Lewis' jaw clench as his eyes scrutinized his. The black-haired man looked for any feeling in his eyes and found nothing, again, but pain and weariness. He was hard-looking, but deep down he was collapsing. He wanted to tell him how much he needed him. He wanted to tell him he loved him. But instead he swallowed through a tight throat and nodded like he didn't care. He couldn't even act cocky this time. He wanted to say something but nothing came, so he swallowed once more and opened the door, reluctantly exiting the house. He bit his lip and left without a word. He couldn't let this happen, yet he didn't know what to do to win back his heart.

Nico sighed. He wanted to cry. He knew it was vain to talk with him; he was a smooth talker. He knew he would have told him what he wanted to hear, and he would have lied to him to keep him. But maybe Nico craved him. Maybe he still wanted him. He blinked and saw that he had left the door open. He could try to shout and tell him to come back. He shook his head: he wouldn't fall in his trap again.

He caught a glimpse of the window. He loved him.

The following day, Nico's problems came back. He was stressed and tense, feeling uneasy and miserable. They had to talk, no matter what he thought or felt, and he knew he didn't need to call. He knew Lewis would come back, and he wasn't wrong: like the day before, Lewis was ringing around eleven.

"Hey." He still had his fierce behaviour, but his mask started to crack; his eyes had softened and his moves were stiff, as if he expected to be hit.

"Hello."

"May I come in ?"

"You want to talk ?"

"Yeah."

Nico stepped aside and followed him in the living room. They sat in front of each other, looking into each other's eyes, the blonde waiting for the other to speak as the silence grew more and more heavy, until he finally decided to speak.

"Nico." It was hard for him so swallow his pride and tell him everything that weighed on his heart.    "I acted like a selfish bastard. I neglected you and I made you look like a fool. I.." 

Nico closed his eyes. Everything he said was true, and it hurt more than nothing ever did before. The Brit saw his distress and his heart dropped yet again.

"Look at me please." His wonderful blue eyes were tearful yet full of fury, and that was another stab in the heart. He was a monster. "I hurt you and I proved myself not worthy of your trust, not worthy of everything you gave me, yet you still.. You still tolerated my shit and supported me . You.." His voice was slightly higher than usual. "Nico I fucking love you."

"Now do you really ?" He looked away. Lewis' charms didn't bewitch him anymore.

"I do. I love you."

The German stiffened. He couldn't believe in these words. He breathed deeply.

"Are you finished ?"

"I'm sorry ?"

"You said everything that you wanted, right ?"

"I did."

"Fine. Leave now." He still didn't look at him.

"What ? You want me to leave ?"

"Yes. Please, go back to London."

"I.."

"Lewis. I told you I didn't want to have anything to do with you."

"Nico I.."

"Please."

"Why do you want me to leave ?"

"Because I can't trust you."

Lewis swallowed. "I told you everything that I thought. I apologised. Don't you love me ?"

"This isn't the matter."

"Then what is it ? Why do you want me to leave ?"

"What is love without trust ?"

Lewis was confused. He didn't understand. And he was hurt. Nico knew it. Of course he was hurt. He couldn't stand being rejected; losing killed him, yet everything that was happening at that moment was the very loss of the only thing that ever meant something in his eyes. Nico's trust.

The blonde rose and walked to the entrance, knowing Lewis would follow him. He stopped in front of the door and turned around to see his face. He wore his familiar stern expression, the one that said 'I don't care, I'm a big boy', but his eyes were the windows to his soul. Torment. Anger. Failure to understand. Maybe even jealousy. And of course love. Nico's chest hurt, his heart was pounding, yelling to him to throw himself in Lewis' arms, but his brain knew better. He had been trained to put up with pressure and extreme conditions. It was part of his job, and since his job mixed with his personal life, this thinking was appropriate.

"Please go." Don't let the problem overwhelm you. Keep control and get rid of it as soon as you can. Don't let the adrenaline get the best of you.

"What are we going to do ?" He was calm again.

"There is no 'we' anymore." His tone was dry. He couldn't let feelings rule his life. "Fly back to London Lewis. I'll take my stuff another time, don't worry about it."

_'Take my stuff'_. The sentence echoed in Lewis' mind. Nico was truly planning on breaking up. He couldn't just exit his life like this.

"I can, and I will." He realised he said it out loud.

"Then may I have a goodbye kiss ?" A small, false grin flashed on his lips.

The German nodded despite knowing it was a bad idea. The hands on his neck. The breath on his face. The scratching of Lewis' stubble. The fullness of his lips. The warmth of his body close to his. Everything made Nico dizzy. He wanted it to last forever. But Lewis finally broke the kiss and left silently, leaving behind him the burning memory of it on Nico's small lips, his particular taste, the shudders that still ran in his back. Once again, he wanted to run after him and tell him to come back. A tiny whisper escaped his mouth when he looked out. _Lewis_.

 

* * *

 

 

Nico wiped his face with the white towel and combed his fingers through his hair. The race had been tough, but he enjoyed himself, not to mention he won it. His overalls stuck to his skin and his blonde locks were awfully damp, but he didn't care. He knew his luck had changed, and even if he wouldn't be this year's champion, he was taking the lead on his teammate.

"Well done !" The Brit was rubbing his hair and extending a hand to him with a bright smile. He shook the hand and kept his mouth shut, not even wanting to act for the cameras.

The evening passed and the blonde decided that he would accompany the other drivers to the club; and it would probably do no harm to get a little drunk.  He celebrated with champagne, avoiding the gaze of the other Mercedes driver, letting himself enjoy the party as he slowly started to lose contact with reality. At some point, he looked down and caught a glimpse of his watch while he danced. He couldn't focus on the hands. He stopped moving and blinked a few times to make them clear again. Three or something like that. He smiled; he wasn't tired, he wanted to party all through the night. That is what he did until he felt tiredness numb his body like alcohol was making his vision blurry and his reflexes slow. Maybe that was why he didn't see Lewis coming at his right, and why he agreed to be driven back to the hotel. The car felt like moving in slow motion. He didn't even thanked the Brit when he exited, and he didn't notice that he was following him before bumping into him when he turned clumsily in the elevator.

"Lewis ?" He frowned. "What' you doing here ?"

"Making sure you don't hurt yourself."

"What ?" He laughed like it was silly. "What d'you think could happen t'me ? No sharp angles in my bedroom y'know ?" He laughed some more.

"I've never seen you this drunk before. And you could bang into something."

"What, am I five or something ?" He giggled. " 'm okay, just leave me here."

"I'm staying with you tonight."

"Sorry ?" He grinned like it was a joke.

"I won't let you alone in there."

"I can handle myself, I'm a grown man."

"I'm staying with you."

Nico started to lose his smile as he leaned his head on the arm he had on the door. He looked up in his eyes and saw he wasn't kidding. He closed his eyes for a second, and opening them was harder than he thought. He looked down at his hand, in which was his key card, and he struggled to slide it in the lock now that his hands had started shaking with a mix of faded anger and cold sorrow.

"No." It was barely a whisper, but Lewis heard it. "You're not." He felt like sobering up.

 

He tripped forward when the door opened and the Brit had to grab him by the waist.

"Are you okay ?"

Nico's heavy lids closed and opened before he hissed something affirmative. Lewis followed him to the bed and watched as he fell gracelessly on the large mattress.

"You should take off your clothes, you'll sleep better."

"Shut up." He muttered in the pillow.

"Nico."

"Undress me then."

Lewis sighed. He told him to turn on his back and started to remove each of his clothes one by one, only letting him his boxers. At this point, he was already sleeping, oblivious of his teammate's presence in spite of having refused it earlier.  He sat next to Nico and toed off his shoes while taking off his top and laid on his side. He couldn't let him by himself this night.

 

* * *

 

 

When he opened his eyes again it was still dark outside, and Nico wasn't in the bed anymore, which alerted him. He stood up quickly and saw the light coming from the bathroom. As he walked to the door the light was turned off and a messy-haired, tired Nico exited the room.

"Lewis ?" It was his time to have a furred tongue. "Why are you up ?" He walked to the bed before stopping and turning his head to him with a frown. "Why are you in my room ?"

"I told you I wouldn't let you alone tonight." He was still drunk, or at least tipsy.

"Get out." His words were tired, without real conviction behind them.

"I'll stay with you until you're sober."

That triggered something in the German man and he walked back to him with an angry wince, standing now dangerously close to him.

"I don't need you. Get out."

Lewis didn't think. He cupped the blonde's face and kissed him. Nico tried to have a backward move but the other held him firmly. And he shouldn't have, but he unconsciously kissed back. He knew it was bad, he knew he would end up hurt like the other times. But he didn't care. For now he just wanted to be with Lewis again, even if it only meant spending a couple of hours in his arms. He was still too dizzy to think properly, so he made what pleased him: be with Lewis. He kissed back and wrapped his arms around his shoulders. That was what he had yearned for for so long. His chest was heaving and his heard pounding. His blue eyes opened when he breathed heavily before he licked his lips and pressed them again against Lewis'. When the brown-haired man slid his mouth over his ear and pressed kisses down his neck, Nico's eyes started to fill with tears.

"I love you so much." The words vibrated against Lewis. "Why do you have to be so damn proud ?" He moaned when his collarbone was gently bit. "And so incomprehensive.." Lewis slid his hands on his sides and kissed his jaw. "I hate you." He knew he was speaking with his heart.

"I love you Nico."  

They made love this night, unleashing the devouring passion that they had kept for themselves for so long and finally saying all the words that had been kept quiet. The sweet words and the bitter ones, the deep ones and the hurting ones. They fell asleep light-hearted, free of those suffocating weights that had been killing them.

 

* * *

 

 

Nico Rosberg woke up rested, tangled in the sheets yet still amazingly warm and comfortable, if not for the headache starting to drill in his brain. He turned on his back and only then remembered; when he saw Lewis and the arm wrapped around his waist that he didn't even felt. Remembered the way he told him he loved him. The lies Lewis deluded him with. His whole body stiffened and he rubbed his face, trying to forget the growing pain to focus on this.

"Finally awake." Came the rough voice of the man beside him.

The blonde looked at him without saying a word; he had said enough the night before. He rolled on his side again and rose, taking the clothes he had left in the wardrobe and slipping them on.

"I'm heading down for breakfast."

Lewis noticed how he avoided his eyes and how fast he exited the bedroom. He sighed and sat, putting his elbows on his knees. There was still a long way to go.

 

* * *

 

 

"You're not coming back to London with me ?"

"No."

"I'd like you to."

"Next week, maybe."

The champion could see and hear the reluctance of his teammate. He knew he was still afraid of being hurt. He took a step forward and put a kiss on his temple.

"See you then Nico."

 

* * *

 

 

"What are you doing ?"

Nico hummed, raising his eyes from his phone and turning his head toward Lewis behind him.

"Reading the news."

"So ? What's happening in the world ?"

"Nothing interesting it seems." He turned back to his phone.

The Brit hummed and put his hand on Nico's head in order to fondle his hair, looking at him scrolling. He knew Nico still wasn't totally at ease around him, and he was still uncertain about how to act with him since their relationship was back from the start. He still slept on his side of the bed and never talked a lot, but at least he lived with him in London.

"Do you feel like cooking tonight ? Because I don't."

"Not really."

"Restaurant ?"

Nico rubbed his cheek and hummed, nodding.

"Any preference ?"

"The Wolseley ?"

Lewis' hand stopped. The restaurant where they ate the night they became lovers. Nico wanted to start all over again.

"Sure. Sorry, move a bit please, I'm going to call."

Nico watched him take the phone of the flat and sit at the table, facing the window. He had noticed the efforts Lewis had made to make him feel better: he stopped teasing, he let him space and made everything he could to regain his trust little by little. The German didn't totally relied upon him but he believed that with time he could give him everything he had again, even if he knew that his trust was like a broken mirror, it would never be the same ever again.

Lewis turned around with a smile.

"We have a table for eight." Nico smiled back.

"Good."

They still had a few hours before them and they spent them on the couch, half-cuddling like they did all the afternoon. Nico went to prepare himself at seven, and when they were both ready, Lewis drove them to the restaurant.

When they sat, he wanted to ask if he chose this one on purpose, but the expectant glint in Nico's eyes told him he did. He had to prove himself trustworthy. Maybe they would even make love this night. They ordered some wine and a starter for two, like they did the first time.

"How do you feel ?" Nico frowned.

"What do you mean ? Right now ?"

"No, since you live here with me again."

"Oh. Well.. I feel good." They stayed silent for some time.

"That's all ?"

"Yes ? I mean.. It has only been two weeks. I don't feel quite home yet."

"I see."

The dish arrived. Everything had to be perfect. Just like the first time. He would take his hand just before the dessert and if and only if Nico liked how it went, they could finish their romantic date admirably. They started to eat, and if someone had seen them, they could have sworn it was the first time they dated: Nico was reserved, almost shy, and Lewis tried to be the perfect gentleman.

"Do you.. Plan on going back to Monaco ?"

"Maybe." He  looked away. "Maybe not. I haven't decided yet."

"Do I have a role to play in this ?" The Brit smiled, trying to hide his nervousness. He didn't want him to leave.

"You do."

He nodded. No mistakes. They ordered a main course and ate almost silently, only animated by small talk, in apprehension of the end of this intimate dinner and the coming back to the flat. When the waitress came to take their plate, Lewis felt his heart thump loudly in his chest and his eyes shot up to Nico's. His amazing blue orbs were locked on his, and when he licked his lips before breathing deeply, he saw them slid to his mouth quickly and go back up. He was at ease. She came back with the dessert menu. He knew what Nico would take. _Apfel Strudel with vanilla ice cream._ When the waitress asked him, he saw on his teammate's face that he knew what he would take too. He even saw him mouth it as he said it out loud. _Treacle tart_. He didn't take his hand yet; he wanted to wait for the perfect moment.

The plates were as beautiful as the last time, the softened lights as pleasant as the last time. That was the calmest part of the dinner, their eyes looking deep in each other's. He took the last bite of his tart and put down his spoon, raising his right hand slowly and extending it across the table until he touched Nico's. He gently tangled his fingers with his and closed his eyes in relief when the blonde intertwined his willingly. They stayed silent if not for asking for the bill and left quickly in a comfortable silence, the humming of the car lulling them.

They only needed a look to kiss as soon as the door shut; this kind of sweet, shy kiss on the lips, exactly as if it was their first date.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

Two barely audible whispers exchanged between kisses as their body came closer  of the other. Nico let himself  be guided by the Brit and they made love slowly, with passion, as if to show each other how much they meant to them. Lewis promised him new things and lulled him with his sweet words. They pretended that their relationship was new and that they were naive like the first day, in order to lay the foundations of it, to have them stronger and steadier. That was a good start.

 

 

* * *

 

"What are you doing ?" Lewis laid in swim trunks next to his lover.

"Reading the news."

"Interesting." He came closer and put a kiss on his cheek, waiting for him to turn his own head and give him a real kiss. Nico was distracted and didn't even notice his phone missing until Lewis rose and shook it in front of his eyes.

"Oh my God Lewis I'm going to kill you. Give me that back."

"Nope." The beautiful gap-toothed cocky grin.

"I'm so gonna kill you !"

Nico stood and followed a now running and laughing Lewis Hamilton who would probably let himself get caught anyway. The sunny afternoon made them sweat and soon the Brit feigned slipping and falling for Nico to get to him, which he did. He sat on him and blocked his wrist, taking back what was his and barely having the time to kiss him before Lewis inverted their position with a wide smile.

"Chicken." He rose hurriedly and  ran into the house.

The German shook his head. What a dork of a boyfriend he had.


End file.
